Ways To Relax Without Alcohol Or Other Drugs
One of the reasons that people drink or use cannabis or other drugs is because it’s their way of relaxing. Some people think it’s harmless to drink or use drugs on occasion, but is it, really? The choice to have a glass of wine, a couple beers, a gummy, or a toke is not just a casual way of relaxing, it could point to an addiction. Here’s how to know.
Do you have an addiction?
Addiction isn’t limited to the need to have alcohol or drugs all the time, which is a common misconception. In fact, even a person who only drinks or uses drugs occasionally can have an addiction. Addiction is flagged by three factors:
Experiencing a rewarding effect such as relaxation.
When you have a drink or use cannabis or another drug to relax, the effect is rewarding. When the behavior is repeated again and again, a habit is formed that contributes to compulsive use – a desire to continue the habit.
Withdrawal symptoms if the behavior is withdrawn.
If you don’t have that beer or that smoke, how do you feel - anxious, irritable, lost? These symptoms can appear when a drug is withdrawn. Withdrawal symptoms can be as simple as difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much, irritability, or dysphoria (a dissatisfaction with life). Re-establishing use relieves the symptoms and thus reinforces the pattern and the addiction.
Anticipation of use.
This is when you look forward to using again after a period of abstinence – whether that period has been 24 hours or 7 days. Anticipating that glass of wine or that toke before bed is a sign of addiction.
Once this cycle has been established, addiction has set in, and it will take fortitude and intentionality to disrupt the cycle and end the addictive pattern.
How addiction develops
Why does addiction develop so easily? Let’s take a look at the way the brain responds to behavior.
A healthy brain rewards healthy behaviors like exercising/movement, eating when hungry, achieving goals, and connecting with others. It does this by sending brain signals that make you feel good, which then motivate you to repeat those behaviors. When you’re in danger of doing something that isn’t good for you, a healthy brain prompts your body to react quickly with fear or alarm (aka: anxiety) to protect yourself and avoid harm. But if you consider doing something that may not be good for you, like eating ice cream instead of a healthy meal or buying something you can’t afford, a healthy brain can help you decide if the consequences are worth the actions. That’s how a healthy brain works.
But when you’re becoming addicted to a substance, those normal brain processes work against you. Alcohol and other drugs hijack the pleasure/reward signals in your brain, making you want to repeat the use of alcohol or drugs again. And, even though alcohol and drugs are bad for you, addiction reduces the functioning of the decision-making part of the brain so that, rather than considering the consequences, you simply repeat the behavior, regardless of the cost. At the same time, addiction creates the belief that you need to engage in the behavior in order to feel good, so when that substance is withdrawn, your danger-sensing circuits activate, creating fear or anxiety and making you want to engage in the behavior in order to feel OK again.
How to relax with alcohol or drugs
So if alcohol or other drugs have become your go-to way to relax, what can you do instead if you decide you want to quit?
Anytime you decide to eliminate something from your life, it will leave a hole that longs to be filled, so it’s important to replace it with something healthy. If you don’t, the desire to use to relax may overtake you, and you will find yourself back to engaging in the same patterns. So ask yourself: What else can you do that you can look forward to after a long day? Here are some possibilities:
Basketball, baseball, volleyball, golf, or other game
A swim along the beach or at the pool
A quiet walk, run, or bike ride
A good workout
A hot bath, sauna, or hot tub soak
Your favorite show
A cup of tea
A lit candle and some relaxing music
A good book
Putting a puzzle together
Drawing, painting, or sculpting
Woodworking
Yoga or Pilates
Swinging or rocking
Fishing
Cooking
Gardening
Playing a musical instrument
Talking to a friend
When you use alcohol or other drugs as a way to relax, you deprive your brain of the healthy circuitry that gets developed when you do healthy things to relax. Figuring out how to relax without alcohol and drugs might take some time, but it will always be worth the effort. Alcohol and other drug use shorten both your life span and your quality of life. It deprives you of the good feelings that come from knowing that you are living your life well, making good decisions, and doing things that help you develop good relationships and financial stability.
While using alcohol or other drugs, you likely won’t even realize the negative effects they’re having on you. But once you quit, after a few months (or up to a year later, depending on the severity and length of your addiction), you will start to see yourself and others in ways you never had before, and you will realize that life can be so much better than what you thought.
So take the leap and make the decision to go alcohol- and drug-free. You won’t regret it. No one has ever regretted not using alcohol or other drugs. But many have regretted using.
Ready to take your next step? Schedule an appointment or get matched with a therapist right on our website.