Stages of Recovery and Strategies for Success
Recovery from addiction is not as simple as just quitting the use of alcohol or other drugs. “Quitting” is referred to as “getting sober,” and it’s something that a person can do in one day, but “recovery” is a process. It starts with getting sober but involves getting back (recovering) what was lost during active addiction. And recovery never really ends because, as humans, our purpose is to always continue to grow, and that’s what recovery is about: growth.
Many people, when they first enter recovery, think that their lives are going to improve immediately, but that’s not how recovery from addiction works. It takes a long time to recover what was lost or set aside during an addiction in order to get your life back. It’s not as simple as getting sober and then everything is fine. It can help to know what to expect once you quit because, when you know what’s coming, you can prepare for the challenges and handle them better. A simple way to describe what to expect in recovery is to break it down into stages.
Stage 1: Withdrawal
Acute withdrawal takes place during the first couple weeks of addiction recovery. During this time, your body is recovering from the physical effects of addiction as your body rids itself of the substance. The acute withdrawal stage can be extremely difficult to get through without using. Not only do you experience physical symptoms but the emotional effects of withdrawal can make you feel like maybe sobriety isn’t worth it.
These are some of the symptoms that you may experience during early withdrawal:
Nausea
Body aches
Low energy, fatigue, tiredness
Sleep problems
Hot or cold flashes
Headache
Stomach or gut issues
Changes in heartrate
Anxiousness
Irritability
Strong emotions (anger, sadness, hopelessness)
Strong cravings
Post-Acute Withdrawal Symptoms (PAWS) begins once the early withdrawals have ended. PAWS can last 6 months to a year or more, leaving a person in early recovery feeling disillusioned with recovery and wondering if it will ever get better.
These are some of the symptoms that you may experience during post-acute withdrawal:
boredom
dDisappointed
irritable
depressed
anxious
tired
foggy
urges to use
The biggest risk factors for using again during this stage are:
cravings
wanting to ease withdrawal symptoms
triggers for use (being around others who are a trigger for use, places that trigger use, thoughts of use, etc.)
strong emotions that are unpleasant to experience (that you may have been using to avoid)
uncertainty about whether you actually want to quit
One thing to cling to in this stage: Recovery is worth the pain. The next stage reveals why. In the meantime, here are some strategies to get through this stage:
identify triggers that you will have to avoid
write down what leads to cravings
find non-substance ways to relieve withdrawal symptoms
list activities that help you through emotions
reassess your commitment to quitting by writing down the reasons you want to quit, the reasons you don’t want to quit, the negative consequences if you don’t quit, and the positive result you can anticipate if you are able to successfully quit
Stage 2: The Honeymoon Stage
The honeymoon stage is a season of recovery that is accompanied by the excitement of feeling understood and feeling like a new you – the same reasons people have a honeymoon period in a new relationship. It begins when you’ve gotten through the worst part of your break-up with alcohol and drugs, and you meet a new way of doing life that “gets you” even more. You start to feel like being sober isn’t as bad as you thought and, as you engage in learning about addiction by going to 12-step meetings or watching YouTube videos about addiction or reading books or articles, you start to understand yourself and your addiction. You find relief in learning that there were reasons that you used alcohol and other drugs – and you look forward to discovering the healthy alternatives.
Hopefully you also have connected with a community of people who are also recovering. Hearing how other people have found a new life and being invited to participate in that with them creates a deep sense of camaraderie. Many people had a sense of connection with the people they used with, so having a connection with people in recovery is necessary in order to avoid feeling alone or left out. It has been said that the opposite of addiction is not sobriety, it’s connection. Meaningful connections with people are important, and it’s one of the key elements of the honeymoon period.
During the honeymoon stage, you are getting to know yourself, your addiction, the recovery process, and others in recovery, so you’re feeling excited and empowered, free from the substance and experiencing the hope for your future that comes with the changes you’re making.
During the honeymoon stage it’s easier to find the motivation to stay sober than during the previous stage (or the stage following this one). You start to feel alive again, and your mental health improves as you feel empowered by your new sense of purpose.
If you don’t experience a honeymoon stage, it’s reasonable to question whether you are truly in recovery. Positive life change is invigorating, and if it doesn’t feel exciting to you, then you might not actually be experiencing the change necessary for personal growth and recovery.
With all the excitement and motivation in this stage, is this stage without its risks of relapse? Certainly not. Relapse is always a possibility, no matter what stage you’re in, so it’s important to know what puts you at risk. The biggest risk for relapse during this stage is feeling overconfident, certain that you will never use again. When you become overconfident, a disappointment or unmet expectation can quickly turn to overwhelm or complacency, which can lead to a relapse. During the honeymoon stage, continue to seek more knowledge and more support, knowing that this is just the beginning. Staying humble by recognizing that anyone can be vulnerable to relapse can prevent you from becoming overconfident.
The biggest factors for relapse during this stage:
overconfidence in your sobriety
resistance to changing behaviors (still clinging to people, places, or things)
impatience in trying to earn trust from others
frustration with the amount of accountability others impose on you
switching substances (e.g. “I quit my drug of choice, but I can still use another drug because I didn’t have a problem with it”)
Strategies for success during this stage:
trust and commit to the process – write down a statement that reminds you that you trust the process and the people who are helping you through it
stay engaged in recovery activities:
o therapy
o support groups
o learning/growth
o medication compliance
use the life skills you’re learning
avoid ALL substances – even the ones that aren’t your drug of choice
get a sponsor or mentor - think of two people that you admire and ask if they’d be willing to meet with you on a regular basis to talk about how you’re doing in recovery and work through recovery literature with you
actively work on your growth and learn how to process through the challenges
Stage 3: The Wall
The next stage of recovery feels like you’ve hit a wall that has stunted your forward progress. When you’re in the honeymoon stage, you expect the feeling of excitement regarding sobriety and your new life to last forever. But just like the exciting honeymoon stage of a relationship, eventually you face the difficulties of life that inevitably come to us all, and the excitement wanes. At some point, life happens. You experience loss, or you make a decision that leads to self-defeating thinking, you get bored, or you get busy and stop focusing as much on recovery. Whatever it is that happens, your honeymoon phase ends and you might feel like you are trying to muscle through the sober days by sheer grit. When this happens, you may start to have second thoughts about sobriety as you feel disheartened that things aren’t going the way you’d hoped. And you might start thinking about using again.
This is normal, and it’s part of the recovery process, so don’t be disillusioned. The key to getting through this stage is knowing that it’s just a stage... a season... and you can keep going and develop a new love for life again. Be patient with yourself, with others, and with life. It can’t all be rainbows and unicorns all the time.
The biggest risk factors for relapse during this stage:
boredom
feeling “blah”
lack of pleasure or fun
feeling alone
family conflict that stems from their fear that you will relapse
lack of motivation
disillusionment with recovery (“is this all there is?” or “I don’t like it”)
secondary drug or alcohol use
losing structure or routine (e.g. ending therapy or support groups, sleeping in, etc.)
Strategies for success during this stage:
remind yourself that things will change and it’s just a season
stay engaged (or re-engage) in personal growth activities
plan fun things and do them, even if you don’t feel like it
review and recognize the gains and progress
don’t isolate – make plans that force you to get around other people
establish or re-establish routine and structure – have a schedule written out
quit any other substances you might be using
Stage 4: Adjustment
Once you’ve gotten over the wall, you move into the adjustment stage. This is usually after the first year of sobriety since it can take a year or more to overcome PAWS and recognize that real life is setting in. During this period, you start to feel better about yourself and look forward to the future. You have a more realistic view of the ups and downs of life and accept that sobriety doesn’t mean that everything will always go well for you.
Once you get to this stage, your coping skills are well-established and your mood and energy are better. The worst of the cravings are also over, and you have the tools to push through any thoughts of use that come up.
The challenge of this period is that you may still be dealing with the after-effects or consequences of your addiction in your personal life: legal issues, relationship repairs, career disappointments, etc.
The lesson of this stage is that it sets you up to be willing to live life on life’s terms and persevere no matter what comes your way.
The biggest factors for relapse during Stage 4:
feeling “cured”
losing structure or routine
not maintaining commitment to actively recover
unexpected emotional issues or disappointments
boredom
new, unwelcomed challenges
slow return to pre-addictive behaviors
struggle with acceptance that recovery is a lifelong process
Strategies for success:
seek out what you still have to learn – you can discover this by seeking out others’ perspectives and feedback
set short-term goals – what do you want to accomplish today, this week, this month?
set long-term goals – what do you want to accomplish this year, in the next 5 years, in your lifetime?
establish a new routine – update your written schedule every time something changes in your life that impacts your routine
listen to others’ stories of recovery to find insight and hope
stay engaged in therapy to address things that come up
constantly reassess your choices and lifestyle and make adjustments
Stage 5: Maintenance
The maintenance stage usually begins around year 2 or 3 of recovery if there have been no long or frequent relapses or setbacks. This stage lasts for the rest of your life. You might experience versions of former stages, but for the most part, you’re simply working on maintaining the healthy goals and habits that you set for yourself in the early stages of recovery, learning to deal with each life challenge as it comes without depending on substance use.
You might notice in this stage that you don’t define yourself by your addiction anymore but have accepted that you have a chronic disease that requires that there are some things you can never do. You may also feel like you have finally achieved a “normal” life, and your friends and family may think you are “cured” and re-introduce risky behaviors, which is one of the biggest risk factors during this stage.
The biggest risk factors for relapse during this stage:
overwhelming circumstances
reconnecting with using people, places, or things
thinking you can use in moderation
wanting to use with others and the way others (who don’t have an addiction) do
Strategies for success during this stage:
stay engaged in at least one recovery activity regularly
reflect often on those first days of recovery
share your story
maintain a gratitude list
continue work on personal growth
Conclusion:
Remember that these stages won’t look the same for everyone. And every person has their own time frame of going through them. Some people may never experience a “wall” stage in their recovery, even after years of being sober. Others never really feel that honeymoon stage where they’re excited about their recovery. It’s OK. Just accept and embrace your journey.
If you’re ready to get started, go ahead and schedule a session or get matched with a therapist right on our website.